Who Says Midlife Has To Be Hard? A Quick Thought To Boost Your Mindset So You Can Create An Easier, Lighter Life

Episode 26 | (00:00):

Hey there, friend. Welcome back to The Easy Aging® Show today. We're going to be talking about one little midlife idea I want to plant in your head and believe me, it's going to make your life so much easier.

(00:12):
You are going to be so much happier now that you have this idea in your head because that's what Easy Aging® is all about, right? It's about aging easily. So let's focus on that for a minute. I think you're gonna like it. You ready? All right. Let's dive in.

(01:09):
Hey there, Easy Ager, before I get started today, I wanted to remind you if you are not already on the Easy Aging® Insiders' list, go to theeasyagingshow.com right after this episode and signup today. So today we're going to be talking about your mindset.

(01:27):
I was cruising the interweb the other day and I saw a saying that said, Everything is hard before it gets easy. I looked at that and I go, "Is that true? I mean, is that always true every single time and in every single person's life?" 

(01:42):
Because that doesn't sound true to me. I know how I was brought up and by midlife, I think most of us by this age were more than likely brought up with ideas like, things had to be hard in order to be worthwhile or valuable.

(01:58):
Or "You have to pay your dues, Michelle," or these types of ideas. You know, put your nose to the grindstone and by the sweat of your brow. I think we had these ideas because our parents, more than likely, went through some part of the Depression or right after the Depression, and that's why they think this.

(02:20):
Some of you who are listening may have actually gone through the Depression so there is a little bit of a mindset going on there and I totally, totally get it. So it does kind of make sense that we think this way, because we've been thinking this way for 40 or 50 or 60 years, right?

(02:38):
I've talked about this midlife concept before so let me reintroduce it to you. We think things have to look a certain way in order to have value, in order to matter, in order to be important.

(02:50):
And if things don't look that way, if things come too easily to us, we think we've "cheated" or we took a shortcut, as if everybody else has taken the same path and you're taking the shortcut.

(03:01):
Folks, shortcuts are great. If they're gonna get you to your goal faster, take the shortcut. But somehow we have this midlife mindset that, "Nope, if it doesn't look the same way, if I don't do it exactly the same way as everybody else then I've cheated or my contribution is not important as the other person's."

(03:20):
Now I've talked about things having to look a certain way before, and I'm gonna be talking about it again, because we do have to release that idea so we can step into a better idea. This idea that things have to be hard before they get easy, or they have to be hard in order to be worthwhile — We've gotta let go of that if we wanna be true Easy Agers.

(03:38):
Here's an idea. Just a thought, just throwing it out for conversation. What if you decided to be a rebel and started thinking differently? What if you started thinking, "Hey, you know what? Things are easy."

(03:52):
Because this little thought, putting this one little thought into your gray matter can actually affect you having an easier, simpler, smoother life. So here is a new thought that we're going to put into your head.

(04:05):
Grab something to write this down with because you're gonna want to plaster it everywhere.

(04:11):
Give yourself little reminders so you can start absorbing this thought now. So when things do get hard, when you do have a new challenge facing you, you don't automatically go to that bad place. Ooh, the dark place.

(04:22):
We want you to automatically think, "All right, you know what? Things can be easy." So here's the idea. Everything in life is as hard or as easy as I want to make it. I'll say it again. Everything in life is as hard or as easy as I want to make it.

(04:37):
What exactly does that mean? It means you have a choice. You get to choose how you're going to respond to this event, this issue, this situation or whatever the challenge is, right? You have a choice.

(04:52): 
And when you have a choice, that means you have freedom. And y'all, when we have freedom, we have a completely different perspective on things than when we don't.

(05:02):
When we feel obligated and tied down and our life is nothing more than a big, old "have to" — I have to do this and I have to do that, and I should do this and I should do that. When we have those obligations, ooh, life gets heavy, doesn't it? Life gets really hard.

(05:18):
But when we know we have a choice, even if it's just responding to something very tiny and something very simple, even when we know we have the choice, that gives us freedom and that freedom gives us new perspective.

(05:31):
So you get to figure out what your perspective is going be on every single thing in your life. You know, life is not happening to you. Things are not happening to you without your consent. Granted, there may be situations or issues going on that you don't have any control of. That is a different thing. I'm not talking about that right now.

(05:53):
Right now, I'm talking about you getting to choose how you respond to things. And how beautiful is that? What a lovely, beautiful life you get to lead when you approach life thinking, Everything in life is as hard or as easy as I wanna make it.

(06:09):
You can say, "You know what? I choose easy. Yeah. Oh, this isn't that hard. Oh, this is a huge thing. I could go into overwhelm, but I'm going choose not to. I'm going to choose to figure it out and ask, 'How can I break this down so it's not as overwhelming?'"

(06:22):
Personally, I love games. I love making a game of things because that makes it fun and honestly, if something isn't fun, I'm really not that interested in it. So if I can figure out a way to break it down and make it a puzzle or turn it into a little competition with myself...

(06:38):
These are the types of things that I do in my head to not go to that black or dark gray place in my life. I don't wanna be there anymore. I've spent enough time there so I'm done with that. When something comes up and I feel the overwhelm starting to take over, take just a few deep breaths, close your eyes, do what you gotta do.

(06:58):
Then you look at it again and say, "You know what? Life is as hard or easy as I make it. I get to choose, and I choose easy. Okay, how can I make this easier?" And you start immediately. You can immediately change your state in a moment's notice and start looking at this like, "Okay. How can I deal with this? How can I make this easier?"

(07:18):
These should be your first questions coming out of your mouth rather than, "Oh my gosh, this is horrible, arg!" Or the whining and the complaining like I used to do. That is just one quick thing I wanted you to think of.

(07:29):
Remember, you can put these little memory things, put it in your phone, put it on the little yellow sticky on the back of your phone or on your desktop or in the kitchen, wherever you spend a lot of time. And then on these little yellow stickies or in your phone, you can put Everything in life is as hard or as easy as I want to make it.

(07:49):
You know, later on, as you get this idea in your head, maybe you're gonna write something shorter like, "I choose easy." Or maybe you can get yourself one of those Staples easy buttons. Just put it on your desk or something to remind yourself. ;)

(08:01):
Whatever it is to start getting this idea in your head so when something does come up, your first response is, "Oh, Hmm. How can I make this easier? How can I make this less overwhelming? How can I break this down so I can actually have some fun with it?"

(08:14):
These are the first thoughts that you want to start having when you're faced with a new challenge. Once again, if you're not on the Easy Aging Insiders list, go to theeasyagingshow.com and sign up right now. And until next time, peace, love and blessings to you and yours. Take care. Bye-bye.