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Refresh Your Year: A Simple Midlife Hack To Set Accurate Goals So You Can Get Excited About The Process (Whoo-Hoo!)

Episode 74 | (00:00):
Hey there. Welcome to the second episode in the "Refresh Your Year" series. In the first episode, episode 72, I talked about aligning your values with your goals, so your goals will be meaningful and fulfilling.

I mean, isn't that the point of them?! So if you haven't heard it yet, make sure you go back to episode 72 and listen to that.

Today, I'm talking about tweaking your perspective on your midlife goals. By midlife, you have more than likely set some goals and didn't hit them, and that's okay. We've all done it.

But when we miss our goals, we generally don't understand why we missed them. We don't understand why it didn't work, or why the goal was out of reach.

You, my friend, can hit your goals and I'm going to give you a tip today that's deceptively simple, yet very effective. It's sets you up for success. It's easy. It's encouraging. And it keeps your excitement and your momentum up while you're going after your goals, and that's exactly what you need.

Let's make the process fun. What do you say? Whoo-hoo! Are you ready to go? You ready to find out what this tip is? Oh my goodness. I am so excited to tell you. Let's do this!

Hey there, Easy Ager. If you are not already an Easy Aging® Insider, go to right after this episode and sign up today.

I have to tell you, I absolutely love the tip I'm going to be giving you for midlife goal-setting. Because as a former "beat-yourself-up-when-you-don't-achieve-your-goals" person, it was such a relief to finally have this tip to help me get over that hump.

When I decided that I wanted to be a person who consistently hit her goals, I started doing my research. I started playing with a few things, and discovering this simple little tweak that has helped me dramatically.

Before I give you this tip, I want to make something clear: You cannot be a failure. It just doesn't exist. You can fail, and failure is an event. It's an event where you just didn't achieve the goal or the expectation, and that's it. Seriously, that's it. You can put whatever meaning on it that you want.

If you want a refresher on how we select the meanings for things that happen in our lives, check out episode 8. It talks about how we get to choose the meanings we attach to events in our lives. If that's the case, why not choose a meaning that benefits you? It'd be kind of crazy not to, right?

This means you get to choose how you react when you didn't achieve a goal. You can beat yourself up and call yourself a failure, which as I just said, doesn't actually exist. Or you can choose a meaning that benefits you.

For example, if something doesn't work out you could just say you learned something new and discovered way that doesn't work. Beating yourself up is of no value whatsoever.

Instead, give yourself a little pat on the back. You tried, you gave it your best shot, and maybe you hit the goal, maybe you didn't. But the reality of all of this is that you're out there and you're taking action.

Friend, I am so confident that you do have the ability to achieve your goals. What you probably don't have is this little tip I'm about to give you. It's so simple. You don't even have to write it down. Here it is:

When you're setting a goal, especially if it's a long-term goal like losing weight or creating a new habit, cut the goal in half.

Now, I can feel you rolling your eyes saying, "Seriously? That's just a mind trick." And I'm going to nod and say, "Yes. Exactly. That's exactly what it is."

Sometimes we have to trick our brains into playing the game with us instead of against us. Bullying yourself, going into that negative spiral of thought and that type of stuff is just playing the game against yourself. So when you cut your goals in half, you are playing the game for yourself.

Let me give you an example of how cutting your goal in half works. Let's say you want to lose 50 pounds in six months and at the end of that six months, you only lost 38. This is the point where you have a choice. Now we're moving into "the-meanings-we-attach-to-events-in-our-lives" portion of the program.

You get to choose the meaning you attach to this. You can either celebrate the 38 pounds that you lost, or you can beat yourself up about the 12 pounds that are still on your body. Cutting the goal in half changes your perspective on things.

So let's cut the same goal in half. Instead of 50 pounds, your goal is now to lose 25 pounds in six months. But did you do that? No. Instead of losing 25 pounds in six months, you lost 38 pounds!

Helllooooo! How amazing does that feel? You didn't just achieve your goal, you blew it out of the water! I can guarantee you that if you got a goal like that, you would be all over the place.

You'd be posting it on social media. You'd be texting and calling your friends. You'd be telling everybody at church or your synagogue. You would be going on and on about how excited you are and how proud you are of yourself. 

Let's look at this situation from one more new perspective. You say, "I lost 38 pounds, blew my goal out of the water and what do I have left? 12 pounds."

Oh, please, that's easy. After losing the 38, that's so simple. You've proven to yourself that you can lose 38, so 12 should be a piece of cake (no pun intended).

And you could even cut that 12 in half by saying, "In 30 days, I'm going to lose six pounds," and maybe in 30 days you lose eight or 10 pounds too. Who knows?

This is all about getting your brain in the right place to get excited and to get some momentum. When you're setting goals or going after your dreams or creating a new habit, you have got to get yourself focused on the good.

Find the good out there. Now, I know some of you are saying, "Yeah, that doesn't really work." Let me give you some information from a book called "Finish" by Jon Acuff. He says:

"Those who cut their goal in half increased their performance from past similar goal-related challenges on average by over 63%. Not only that, 90% of the people who cut their goal in half said they had an increased desire to work on their goal; it encouraged them to keep going, and it motivated them to work harder because the goal seemed attainable."

Isn't that crazy? You cut your goal in half, you increase your performance by 63% and then, you could be one of the 90% who actually get excited about your goal because you're seeing some progress.

I love cutting goals in half, but you know what I love even more? Fun-sized actions. You know me, I'm all about the fun-sized action...

And this is a great fun-sized action for you to start thinking about as you're setting your values-based goals for the year. I adore this so much. This has been such a fantastic revelation.

It keeps you out of overwhelm and encourages you because you can see your progress easier. And the celebration when you hit your goal is going to feel so good that you'll be ready to dive in again and set that next goal.

Cut those goals in half. Take that little fun-sized action, hit the goal. Take another fun-sized action, hit the next one, and the next one, and the next one. Who knows where you're going to be at the end of all this?

That's it for today. When in doubt, cut your goals in half. Pretty simple, right?

Once again, if you are not already an Easy Aging® Insider, go to right now and sign up. I'll see you in the next episode. And until then, peace, love and blessings to you and yours. Take care. Bye-bye!


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