Live A Bigger Life: Lessons From The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel

Hey there, Easy Ager. I'm so happy you're here today because we're going to be talking about living a bigger life. We're taking inspiration once again from "The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel," the Amazon Prime series. This quote will help you discover clarity in midlife so you can start living large.

If you're not familiar with the series it's about a housewife, Mrs. Maisel, who accidentally discovers that she has a talent for stand-up comedy. She then falls in love with comedy and pursues it as a career.

The bulk of the series takes place in the late '50s and early '60s, when it was practically unheard of for women to be in stand-up comedy. So clearly this was quite a bold move for her at that time.

This quote in the final episode of the series inspired me, and I wanted to share it with you and use it as a basis for today's episode.

Mrs. Maisel says:

"I want a big life. I want to experience everything. I want to break every single rule there is. They say ambition is an unattractive trait in a woman. Maybe, but you know what's really unattractive? Waiting around for something to happen. Staring out a window thinking the life you should be living is out there somewhere, but not being willing to open the door and go get it. Even if someone tells you you can't. Being a coward is only cute in "The Wizard of Oz."

Y'all, I love this so much! Living a big life, experiencing everything, breaking all the rules. I don't know about you, but I got chills hearing it when she said it and I got kind of excited when I was reading it to you right now.

In the last episode, episode 110 titled, "Ready To Improve Your Midlife Relationships? Consider Tweaking This Specific Area Of Your Mindset," I talked about releasing the idea that things have to look a certain way. When you release your black-and-white thinking and stop believing that things have to look a certain way, you can soften the edges in your relationships.

Doing this will let you step into possibility and what could be. It's going to help you enjoy more authenticity and intimacy and peace and harmony with the people who matter most to you.

I'm bringing this up because releasing this idea of everything having to look a certain way is very much related to breaking the rules. That's because it feels like you're breaking the rules, doesn't it?

But here's an important secret: There are no rules. The only place the rules exist are in your mind.

I don't know why but somehow, we think we're going to be shamed or shunned by society if we step outside the box and do things differently. But you know what?

Living a bigger life, fulfilling dreams, achieving goals, reveling in and relishing the things that make your heart sing -- these are the things that require you to step out of the box to do different things, to be different than everyone else.

The people who live these amazing extraordinary lives don't do it by being like everyone else. They do it by being exceptionally clear on who they are and what they want, and by being willing to step out of their comfort zones. That doesn't mean simply being courageous. It also means being very confident in what your goals and dreams are.

If you're concerned about what "they" think, it's time to relax. You don't need to worry about them for one key reason: Our culture is quite self-involved these days. They're so busy paying attention to themselves, they're not paying a lick of attention to you. I don't mean to hurt your feelings, but it's the truth.

Knowing that they really aren't paying that much attention means you can just throw out the rule book and go after your dreams with abandon and with the freedom that you need to get it done.

Because without the rules, you can live a big life and experience everything you want.

One of the key things to living a larger life is a full and complete clarity on what's important to you. Without this, you won't have the drive or passion to stay focused and to get to the end. You'll lose interest. You'll probably wander off and let other things come between you and your dream because you really aren't that committed to it.

Here are three straightforward steps to help you get crystal clear on what you want:

1. Dream big

I'm not talking about safe dreams here, friend. I'm talking about skyscraper-sized dreams. Dreams that reach "to the moon," as Ralph Cramden used to say. Let's take a moment to let your imagination run wild.

Grab a sheet of paper and a pen. I'm asking you to do this by hand because there's something absolutely magical that happens when your hand is touching the pen and the pen is moving across paper. I don't know what happens, but it's a lot different than when you're typing.

Let's create your own bucket list on steroids, all right? First thing, relax a little. Roll your shoulders and take three deep, slow breaths in through your nose and out through your mouth.

Once you're relaxed, set the timer for two minutes and ask these two questions:

• What deep desires have I tucked away?
• What adventures have I postponed?

Make a list of the wildest, most thrilling, most exciting experiences that you want to have before you meet your Maker. That's basically what this is. It's a free writing exercise so if it comes into your brain, write it down. If it sounds silly and ridiculous, write it down. If it scares you, write it down. If it sounds forbidden, write it down.

No one is going to see this list except you, so don't hold back. You can burn it when you're done, if that makes you feel better. The main thing right now is do not hold back from anything that pops into your mind.

2. Take one brave step

Review your list and pick one dream to take action on. Pick something that excites you and scares you at the same time. That sounds weird, but I have a whole theory that if it doesn't terrify you on some level, you're not dreaming big enough.

This could be anything in your life from learning to tango to starting a side hustle to taking a spontaneous road trip to calling your ex. So pick one dream to work on.

Break down the steps into fun-sized actions that are manageable, and then do them. Pretty simple, right? We're here to get things done easily, and the best way to do that is in bite-size nuggets of action so we don't go into overwhelm. So set the size of each action accordingly.

3. Embrace your dreams unapologetically

Let your dreams shine. Surround yourself with supportive people who encourage you and want to see you grow and thrive in your life.

Here's another secret: If you have a friend or family member who isn't supportive of your dream, don't tell them. Seriously, don't say a word to them. You don't need to say anything to them if you don't want to.

If you're feeling yourself cringe at what I just said, or you're starting to make excuses in your head like, "But I have to tell them. Michelle, you don't understand."

On the contrary, friend, I do understand and I know that more than a few times in my life, I've had to protect my little dreams from loved ones at the beginning. I felt so tentative and so uncomfortable taking these first steps. With this level of vulnerability, I pulled this dream close into my heart and I didn't tell a soul.

Once I got on my feet and had more confidence, then I told them and they were excited. They were thrilled I was going after this dream that was so important to me. They were really proud of me. So it was okay later but at the beginning, I had to be a little more cautious than normal.

But if you're feeling concerned about what they may say, or if you think they'll laugh at you or ridicule you because you're stepping out of your comfort zone, it's okay not to tell them for a while. You don't even have to tell them ever, unless you want to, but that's your choice.

So there you have at, big dreamers, three fun-sized actions to unlock clarity in midlife so you can live your big life, just like the marvelous Mrs. Maisel. Relax and have fun with it.

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