One Phrase That Can Help You Get Midlife Clarity On The "Little Things"

There's a phrase in personal development that's been around forever. This little phrase can help you get massive midlife clarity on where you are and where you want to go because we all need clarity, especially in midlife.

Without clarity, you're treading water and getting frustrated. But frustrated or not, it's still your responsibility to find your midlife clarity and to hop on it. So we're going to break down this phrase to figure out what it means in our lives. The phrase is:

How you do anything is how you do everything.

It's really referencing the little things in life. How you do the little things matters because those little things add up to big things. 

In Matthew 25 in the Bible, the parable of the talents, the master says, "Well done, good and faithful servant. You have been faithful with a few things. I will put you in charge of many things."

If you're not familiar with this parable, it's about a master who had three servants. He gave each one of them a bit of his wealth before he went on a trip. Two of the servants took very good care of the small portions they were given, invested them wisely and doubled the worth of those portions.

They proved they could be trusted with the little things, so they were rewarded with bigger things.

Consistency is key in managing the little things, and this consistency is quite telling in how you run your life. It's about having integrity and character, giving 100% when you're alone, and doing those little things on a daily basis.

That's why we use fun-sized actions here. As Easy Agers, we don't go for the crazy, huge, massive stuff. We use small — ridiculously small, embarrassingly small — actions.

Because if an action is tiny enough, you'll do it on day one because it didn't scare you and it wasn't overwhelming. Then, it's more likely that you'll do it again on day two and day three and so on. Once you realize that you're handling it well, you're going to keep doing it over and over again.

That's what creates habits and lifestyle changes so you can live your best life.

How you do anything is how you do everything is applicable throughout everything in your life, especially if it's something you don't like doing.

Evaluate the little things in your life

For example, are you working in something other than your dream job right now? There are a lot of people out there that do that because we all know the bills need to get paid. If this isn't your dream job, I've got to ask you, friend: How are you treating it? Are you showing up with a "meh" kind of attitude, doing the minimum amount and racing out the door at 5pm?

Or are you showing up fully present, giving it 100% and making that job more than it actually is? Are you exceeding your boss's expectations? Because if you start treating that job like it's important and like it's a little thing that you want to do well, it's going to change your attitude for the better.

Here are a few more areas your can examine to determine how you do the little things in your life.

• Self-care: Are you taking good care of yourself? Getting to bed at a consistent time? Getting enough sleep to feel refreshed? Eating well? Exercising regularly?
• Household activities: When you're washing the dishes or mopping the floor, do you take pride in this? Or do you do just enough to get by so family members who live with you don't complain?
• Finances: Are you paying your bills on time, or are you constantly getting late penalties?
• Relationships: Are you a reliable person in your relationships and do you get places on time? Do you follow through with your commitments, even if it's something small like returning a phone call? What about when you're out and need a little extra cash for the tip, so you borrow money from your friend? Do you pay her back quickly? Or do you wait, and sometimes even forget, that you owe her money? This is a quiet little thing that can add up to a big thing at some point.

Paying attention to the little things in relationships are actually a big thing. Always remember:

Never listen to what someone says. Watch what they do and you'll get significant insight into who they are.

Here's an example of a little thing that enhanced one of my relationships greatly. When my mother came into the house, she'd take off her jewelry wherever she was. She would just leave it there: on the coffee table, in the kitchen or the bathroom, or on the dining table.

She seemed to always be looking for a lost earring or necklace that she misplaced. This was a constant thing in our house as I was growing up. That was perfectly fine with me if she chose to do that in her own home. 

But then she would come to my house and do the same thing. We would go through this long exercise of trying to find all her stuff that was misplaced. So I asked her to take her things to her room when she took them off.

I gave her trays for her jewelry and put a rocking chair in her room for her clothes, but sometimes she would forget. If she didn't put the stuff away, I wouldn't say a word. I would just pick it up and take it to her room.

About the third or fourth time I did this, she came out of her room laughing. She said, "I guess you want me to pick up my stuff."

I said, "Mom, when you come to stay at my house, this is always going to be your room and you can do whatever you want in there. I don't care. I just don't want the common spaces cluttered."

And that was all I ever said. We never had this conversation again because she started picking up her stuff. She was being respectful. She knew this was my home and that this particular little thing mattered to me. So she started doing it.

This one little thing showed me that she loved me and it spoke volumes about her, her character and her desire to make our relationship even better than it was. This little thing was insignificant to her, but it was very significant to me so she started doing it.

So now it's your turn. What little things in your life do you need to start evaluating? 

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