Hey there, Easy Ager. I wanted to talk about the growth process, when you're on a midlife transformation journey. I've been doing this work for nearly 30 years, and I've seen so many changes in my life. It's been fantastic.
A lot of this work is grasping onto concepts that you can apply to your life. I would love to say it's simple and easy, but not necessarily. Sometimes it's easier said than done.
I wanted to make a couple of observations about your personal growth journey. Knowing these two things will offer you some new perspective so you don't get discouraged or frustrated with where you are at this point. Even if you're starting to do personal growth work, you can apply this as well so this is for everyone, no matter where they are in this process.
When you're trying to do this personal growth work, you do it in layers. You don't just get "fixed" overnight, and that's because you didn't get to this point overnight.
Let's be honest, you're not carrying the extra weight, experiencing thousands of dollars in debt, or struggling with broken relationships because of something you did yesterday or even the day before. More than likely, you're here because of the choices, the actions and the behaviors that you have been doing for a number of years.
All of the "you" that exists right now took 40, 50, 60 years to get here. Why would you think you can get out of this overnight? That's unrealistic. It doesn't magically happen.
I can assure you that change can happen and change will happen if you're consistent. But it's a progression. This is a process. Sometimes it's fast, and sometimes it's slow.
Occasionally you might hear someone talking about a breakthrough that transformed them. It sounds like all of a sudden they had the breakthrough, everything fell into place, and they finished their novel in two days or they never had another cigarette.
This happens, but it doesn't always happen that way. And it certainly doesn't happen nearly as often as we may be led to believe. After 30 years of this work, I can unequivocally tell you that I don't know one person who had a breakthrough without putting in a little work on the front end.
They were working toward their breakthrough, doing the work, making the effort. So please don't be discouraged if it's taking you longer to get where you want to be. It can take time.
I know one thing for sure:
You are exactly where you're supposed to be at this moment in time. Relax, this is where you are. You're in the right place. So don't stress or fret over it.
In episode 118, I told you about my current level of stuckness. And as of this recording, guess what? I'm still stuck. I haven't resolved a thing. For better or worse, I am in the "ebb" of the ebb and flow of life.
But when my breakthrough happens, I'm going to be primed and ready for it. That's because my focus right now is on being consistent, taking fun-sized actions that don't overwhelm me, and putting one foot in front of the other. That's all I can do right now.
But when it hits, when I move from ebb to flow, I'm going to be running hard and I am so excited about that. I can't wait for it to happen!
You've heard about the layers of the onions. You deal with the outside layer first, then go to the next layer and the next to go deeper. This is quite true. You can only hear what you're ready to hear at a specific moment in time. You can't just take it all in at once and go straight to the middle of the onion.
Many times you might hear something that seems so foreign or ridiculous, you just don't understand it. But every now and then, you're going to hear something that resonates with you so deeply, you know it's important. For example:
When I heard the phrase, "it doesn't have to look a certain way," it resonated with me. It resonated in my mind and my spirit and my body from the top of my head to the tip of my toes.
It felt so right, but I was hesitant because it seemed too easy. So I prayed on it. I percolated on it. I considered the ramifications of it. Every single cell in my body felt like it took a big, deep sigh of contentment, and I think that's the way it is when you hear truth.
I realized that this is one of the most freeing things I had ever heard in my life. I mean, it's not at the very top of the list because that's reserved for discovering the saving grace of Jesus Christ. That's the most freeing thing that ever happened to me!
But accepting that "things don't have to look a certain way" is right up there because it resonated throughout every cell in my body. I grabbed onto this idea. I made it my own.
Understanding that "things don't have to look a certain way" gave me the freedom to design my life in the way that I knew it was supposed to look, the way that God meant for my life to look.
Personal development work is amazing because you discover new ways of looking at things that can -- literally -- transform your life, but it's also important to do the work realistically. I hope these two observations encourage you as you do your work and design your life the way you want it to be.